It scares me

So I came across this quote yesterday:

“The main problem of choosing what to do in life boils down to simple math: every hour you spend on one pursuit is one less spent on another. This problem is so paralyzing that some people never even choose.”

Source

Which really led me to wonder and reevaluate most of the decisions I make on the daily. I have been trying to make more plans for my future recently since I am of the current maturity to do so. I should have started thinking about it long ago but- I just didn’t. I love just cruising through life at times being so carefree. It’s wonderful.

In reality, there isn’t much time for me to be able to enjoy this luxury. Since it was never mine to begin with, all the more I have to find ways and means to upkeep this lifestyle (should I put it that way?) After realizing that I have to somewhat be independent on my own someday, it makes me uncomfortable. It always had but more so now when time is just not on my side anymore.

It’s flooding it’s endless. I tell myself take it one at a time when it starts to suffocate. I don’t know is it just a 20-year-old, naive and ‘me’ thing or what? But after doing a bit of planning, it makes me withdraw from the situation. One part got me thinking that that’s all there is to it and another part of me also thinking that it’s so difficult to accomplish whatever there is. I take a step back from this whole thing and just feel like “drop everything now meet me in the pouring rain kiss me on the sidewalk take away the pain” (HAHA sorry that Taylor reference was so Swift). Just to lighten the mood up but also hoping to bring a message across.

It really scares me how there’re so many possibilities that can happen in the future. Yet thinking about all these possibilities also seem like there’s all there is to happen.

I find that ironic. How could I ever come up with such a conflicting argument. I hate instances like these because it usually strikes me dysfunctional for a couple moments- seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, maybe even years?

All in all, let me move onto the quote now.

“The main problem of choosing what to do in life boils down to simple math: every hour you spend on one pursuit is one less spent on another. This problem is so paralyzing that some people never even choose.”
(Just in case you forgot)

Seems like there’s a hidden notion of the meaning of opportunity cost in the statement. For every hour you spend on something, you have less for another. Which also seems pretty logical for the most part.

However, the real part of the quote that resonated with me was that “This problem is so paralyzing that some people never even choose.”

Which kinda struck a chord in me. I have always been all about that procrastination and instant gratification kind of gal so I choose the easy way out most of the times. Instead of studying, I play. Instead of working, I sleep. Instead of sleeping, I play. Yeah goes round and round, I’m ashamed that I am/ was(?) like that (before?) too. It has always been easier and the last minute all-nighters usually used to work too.

And now, since it doesn’t really work anymore, I just want change.

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Author: Boxxesofsand

Hi I am Deborah Ho

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