F4T: Whatever works

Today’s Food 4 Thought

Oh yay, haven’t had F4T for quite awhile now have we?
Just a recap, Food 4 Thought is basically a category where I talk about some deep shit… Well technically not really but yeah I have some of these pretty pensive thoughts on a daily and have decided to pen it down somewhere. And this is my space for that. Don’t know if you’ll consider these works philosophical/ psychological/ whatnot but yeah…
Oh anyways! I’ll be more than happy to have an open discussion about this topic, drop a comment if you feel like sharing your point of view because I want to know what you think as well!!!!
Other than that have fun reading ūüôā

Disclaimer: Not going to put an explanatory title for this F4T, read further/ between the lines and you’ll kinda know what I’m tryna discuss about… I guess? Hehe enjoy!

Funny how it all happens

Someway somehow some things just seem to work out in the end

It’s interesting to see how most of us do
Whatever works

Now now now,
Slow down cowboy

Let me introduce to you how certain majority of the people work

What ticks their tock
What dings their dong
What kings their kong

Now that that’s out of the way

Let’s discuss the¬†real¬†reason why:

Persuasion/ manipulation/ coercion

It gets us all somewhere somehow somewhat someway or another

It’s obvious
(or at least mostly to me now)

When people have hidden motives/ agendas behind their smiley sleeves
It’s not that I want to doubt you
Or what not
It’s just that I don’t believe that things are that simple
Anymore

Most of the time for me at least
Most of the people aren’t true
Most of them have ulterior intentions

So kindness to speak
Is really for the weak
Rare as it is
Almost never exists

And here’s the thing,
Whether conscious, subconscious
Let’s exclude the unconscious
People usually have a certain sort of motive

And you’ve got to be real quiet
To listen To see
To read between the lines
What they really want

And they do it by manipulation
Or persuasion if that sounds less nasty
But yeah,
it’s almost¬†always¬†done

Whatever
We always do things that works for us
But we’re¬†all guilty of whatever works

Makes me sick really
but you me we all do it on a daily

Each and every action and reaction
Have its very own intention
Whether is happy sad angry or mad
That good or bad?
I honestly can’t judge that

But yeah,
it’s interesting just observing

Emotions, tears,
even that too has its own significance
of sorts

But at the end of the day
It’s to get you
to where you want to be
to what you want to be
to who you want to be

At the end of the day
We all do

Whatever works


Satisfied,
Debby

Read my other F4Ts here
About Food 4 Thought- Expectations and Food 4 Thought- Flyers Distribution

 

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Food 4 Thought- Expectations

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When love becomes expectation. Things turn ugly.

This truly questions the validity of love in itself. Well, for the benefit of the doubt, lets assume the truest and purest form of love to undertake the form of an unconditional one.

But for today, let’s examine an¬†attempt of ‘love’.

When love becomes an expectation. What seems like ‘love’ morphs into¬†something else. Something like-¬†a sort of indignation. For example, doing something nice out of your own will for someone seems imposing when said person starts to expect more out of¬†your niceness. Initially, you are being nice but then when its imposed on and expected for you to be nice, you start to feel indignation. Like why exactly are you giving this in the first place at all?

Then, you start to do less. Do less love/ be less nice. And it just doesn’t make sense anymore.¬†If its not willing, then should it be something you’re even giving?

I have a few personal experiences with my love/ loved ones that have caused enough to invoke this conflict in me. Similar to the above explanation, when I actively do things for the people I love. I usually do it out of my own will. And several times because of this, others will impose the expectation on me to continuously do it even if I’m tired or have other reasons why I am not doing it for that period of time. I have also got into a pretty heated argument with a previous friend of mine on unconditional love. If you expect something in return then it means that this love that you are giving has its conditions. And I completely agree with that.

So it provoked me to further think about this. If you did it with expecting something in return then should you even give it in the first place?

The feeling of indignation usually isn’t a pretty one where a lot of injustice is cast upon. And don’t we hate injustice especially when it’s on us?

Thankfully, I managed to draw a conclusion about this after much contemplation. I realized that love (the ones we usually give) are very much conditional and definitely laced with plenty of expectations. Even if we do not actively agree or admit with it. In many instances, that is the case. For example, when we do something for someone out of love, we usually do it with an expectation that they will reciprocate this favor or to gain their approval/ appreciation. We basically almost always want something out of it.

Say there’s a hierarchy of¬†true love, one without conditions. At the top of the chain lies God’s love for us. Second to that lies parental love. Third is probably familial love. And let’s just categorize the rest as other forms of love. Then I drew another conclusion where unconditional love doesn’t exactly exist. Innate in human nature, we always want something in return. If I do A for you, you do B for me. This is usually how love works. The closest form of true love is parental love. Most parents give their children without expecting anything in return. They just want their children to be happy. Of course, that’s a generalization but let’s leave it at that assumption. So usually, if we aren’t parents/ not giving love to our children, we would ‘do’ conditional love. We always want something in return. Don’t we?

Contestable.

Understandably, when my love becomes an expectation of me, I feel indignant. There’s this phrase that goes something along the lines of: You could lend someone something for 100 days but when you stop lending them for 1 day, you become selfish. Ok I can’t really recall the actual thing but it’s something like that. Realize I could TLDR; I don’t like it when people start expecting from me LOL haha but after all that….

The closure to F4T (Food 4 Thought) today, don’t inflict expectations on others’ love for you and- I wouldn’t say don’t give conditional love. After all, conditional or not, love is love. Right? Hm. Yeah, so¬†just love the way you want to.

You do you hun ūüôā


Love,
Debsy

Food 4 Thought- Flyers Distribution

I have decided to start a new post genre called “Food 4 Thought”.

These are absolutely random floating pieces of seemingly thought provoking issues that I have somewhere somehow collected over time- epiphany or not I don’t know how to categorize it. But yeah, just going to pen it down here for keeps sake.

Today’s discussion is:

Flyers distribution

You know how when you’re walking and you get flyers shoved into your faces by people whose job is to distribute paper flyers?

Most people walk them by, some people courteously reject the offer and others will take the flyers.

Which category do you belong to?

For myself, I usually take these flyers. On one condition, these people have to be wearing non-uniform clothes. Meaning, they are in plain clothes and not in any work attire. Reason being, I think the non-attired flyers distributors are people who are distributing these flyers as their part-time job. They are not working for that particular company and they just get paid to distribute flyers (Side note: Also heard that they get paid by the number of flyers they give out).

For my mother, she wouldn’t take the flyers. Reason being, she wants to save the earth by not taking these slips of paper.

However, I don’t fully agree with this because the flyers are already printed out. If its not taken by me, it will be taken by somebody else and the trees have already died for that paper to be in existence.

So when I’m out with my mom and when we pass by someone who is distributing flyers, I would take them (on my fulfilled condition). And my mom will tell me not to take the flyers and ‘save the earth’.

The debate:

Should we take the paper- help the poor fellow a little

or

should we not take the paper – and save the earth?

So, what would you do?

The resulting action is honestly to each their own choice preference.

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But personally, I take the paper from the flyer distributor guy then try to find a recycling bin nearby to recycle this slip of paper.

Win-win, right?